That summer I’d been a woman for a year and a half and I was doing online webcam sex shows to see if I was beautiful enough for anonymous imbalanced desire, and one night online I received a private show request pop-up and after clicking Agree the screen opened to a neck-down man in staunch dark formal wear, and I said What’s the special occasion and he said My rehearsal dinner was tonight and in a soft wincing voice I said What were you rehearsing, and he said My wedding is tomorrow and I said You’re about to commit eternally to someone and you’re on XChat cruising for transexuals, and he said C’mon I just really need to blow off steam and I said Go fuck your fiancée and he said She doesn’t have a fucking cock, and I was silent and empathic for a moment before saying Where even are you right now and he said At her parents’ place but everyone’s in the living room, and I said Oh you’re kidding me and he said Whatever man I’m a bad person and I said You’re not a bad person—you’re a fucking loser, and he whimpered Am I really and I said Losers pay for e-pussy at their in-laws’ house and I saw off-screen he was clawing at himself, and I said God you’re fucking lascivious and he moaned What else am I and I said For one you’re a cheapskate for paying me three bucks a minute when you’re formalwear-at-the-rehearsal rich, and he laughed and said Yes I’m a cheapskate and I said You’re also a fucking tranny-chaser who’s too pussy to marry one of us like you dream of, he repeated Yes I am I’m a chaser and I said You think self-awareness absolves you but it actually makes you worse for not changing, and he said C’mon what am I supposed to do and I said Scream out my name once you finish so your family can hear what a lecherous pig you are, and he said Oh please don’t make me do that and I said You wanted servility so fucking serve someone, and he said Seriously you’re going to ruin my life and I said Isn’t that exactly what you always wanted and he said Of course it is, and I hissed at him Say my name and as if involuntarily he ejaculated on his cummerbund and cried out my cam girl pseudonym, I heard voices rousing in the muffled background and a woman called out David? and the door opened flooding the room with light, and the Groom said Baby—and with the hand not cupping his genitals he slammed his laptop shut and our video stream went black, oh what did I think would happen in a life of stolen residual love in disparate rooms a thousand miles apart, oh why did I quiet my breathing as if to hear for someone’s gentle knocking at my rented door.